wearing high heels.
the 3-inch stilletoes. i used to wear them 7 days a week. to school, to church, to office. anywhere. everywhere. i chased buses and jeepneys in high heeled shoes all the time, in all kinds of weather. i loved the ones that only had single strap at the toes and made the feet look bare. i wore them with skirts, short, really short, long and not so long.
and i especially liked the expensive ones. my clothes were tailor-made because it was cheaper to have them made (believe it or not!) but my shoes were expensive. when the average price of a pair of good shoes was 45 pesos, i would buy mine from brand name stores and sinfully paid 300 pesos for a pair. the most i paid for a pair was 450 pesos. i was 28 back then in manila. in canada i had a pair of shoes from bruno magli or something with an italian name for $280 sale price! brown leather patent with suede toes. the smell of leather. the smell of too much money for a pair of shoes. i should be sent to hell.
i still keep the last pair of high heeled sandals i had from 20 years ago. 3-inch heels, all leather, in black, size 5-1/2. i call it my cinderella shoes. the days when i was 110, a size 4 with 22 inches waist. after ten years, the shoes won't fit me anymore. i had become the ugly step-sister instead of cinderella, heavy and size 7 WIDE!!! yes, life happened to me, as with everyone.
now, i cringe at the sight of a so-so looking pair with a price tag of more than $50. no more high end, brand name pairs. i go to the cheap outlet stores, with BOGO options. now i go for comfort. years of abuse had caught up with my flat feet structure (the genes factor), the bunions, the calluses, the corns, and of course the arthritis is a given. on weekends there's no freaking way i'd wear regular shoes unless i have to dress up. i'd marry my NB sneakers if it was possible. and, i see that they now had heeled rubber shoes - sneakers in heels. a total atrocity.
sometimes i still have some fantasies left in me. i see a beautiful pair of shoes, the 2-1/2-inch heels beckoning me. they'd make any ugly feet look lovely. i look at them and think of trying them on, just for old time's sake. i know i still can walk in them. then i'm jolted out of my reverie as my bunions start to scream: go ahead, bitch, let's see who's boss!
who's boss? dr. scholl's, that's who.
My feet hurt just reading this. I might wear heels once a year, for a special event, but the moment I'm home, I kick them off! I look at those gorgeous shoes now and wonder how I ever walked in them.
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