we can't be friends...

As soon as Lee and I arrived back in town, I called St. Mary's Hospital to find out if Benjamin had been discharged as scheduled. The operator confirmed so. There was a hurt look in Lee's eyes as I pushed my bags in a corner of the living room and rushed out.

"Lee, honey," I said. "Benjamin's an old friend. Please don't be jealous."

Lee nodded and smiled, but I could see the hurt in his eyes. It had been a pleasant week at the beaches up north in Ilocos. I had never seen him so relaxed. I had to take him away from work and from his family so he could unwind. His wife had been creating so many problems for him and the children were not cooperating either. Lee had a tendency to drink excessively. The doctor had warned him about his already fragile liver. So I took him away for a week so he could relax. Of course, I had to ask the hotel for the use of the telex machine so he could still communicate with the office.

But now, we were back. To the city. To his business. To reality.

"If I divorce Rosaire, and we get married, would that be enough to keep you in the relationship?" he quietly asked, his face turned to the window, overlooking the financial district's skyline.

"That's not a fair question, Lee," I replied. "Am I out of the relationship? What are you talking about?"

"This Benjamin, he seems so important to you."

"He was in an accident. I promised to see him when I came back. He is a very good friend. I would like to know how he's doing."

"Were you thinking of him while we were away?"

I rolled my eyes in exasperation. "Lee, I have no time for this, please. And no, I wasn't. Thinking of him while we were away." I headed for the door. "And just so you know, I am still in the relationship right now, and when I come back. If you want me to." I opened door, stepped out and closed it behind me.


I didn't have a hard time finding Benjamin's house. He and his family lived in a big house where the other occupants were his unmarried sisters and brother and their mother. Benjamin's was a one-bedroom affair on the second floor. He was sitting on a chair when I arrived. Diana let me in, without as much as a single word. But at least she smiled at me.

"Who are you?" a little girl, their four-year-old daughter asked me, beaming a smile. One of her front teeth was missing.

"I'm Cynthia," I said. "What's your name?"

"Daniella," she replied. "I like you."

"I like you, too, Daniella. But what happened to your tooth?"

The girl laughed rather shyly and went to bury her face in her father's arms.

I spied Diana heading out the door.

"Are you leaving?" I asked.

"Yes, I have to go to the pharmacy," she replied, "to get his medicine." She waved her hand in Benjamin's direction. Then she was gone.

"Ben, is she really upset? Because if she is, I will leave right now. I don't want to cause you any trouble."

"She's jealous," he said. "I suppose it's a natural reaction."

Daniella sat on my lap.

"My mommy is jealous of you. I know why."

"Why?" I asked and Benjamin winked at me.

"Because you're pretty. She said you love my daddy."

"Oh, your mommy is very pretty, too, don't you think?"

"Yes," she said as her little hand caressed the curls of my hair. "You smell nice."

"C," Benjamin started to say. "Thank you for your help. I didn't ask to call you so you could help me, I want you to know that."

"It's okay, Ben. Everything comes down to us being friends. And if I can help, why not?"

"I didn't want to die without seeing you." He leaned against the window sill as he spoke. "Strangely enough, with each blow, with each punch, all I could think of was you." He slowly shook his head, eyes almost welling in tears. "I couldn't explain that. Not to Diana. Not even to myself."

"You told Diana?" I was aghast as he slowly nodded his head.

The brief moment of silence that existed between us seemed to take hours. I didn't know what to say, but I knew what to do: I wanted to embrace him and kiss him. I wanted to have Benjamin.

He broke the silence, and I was thankful for it.

"I won't be able to pay you right away. I mean, I can pay you little by little as soon as I get back to work."

I smiled at "little by little".

"I'm not asking you to pay me back. I'm not expecting anything back. I just wanted to help out, that's all."

"But that's a big amount of money."

I shrugged my shoulders and Daniella mimicked me.

"My mommy said she doesn't like you." Daniella said this with a smile. Benjamin's eyes bulged in surprise. "She said you and her cannot be friends."

"Why?" I asked in a playful tone.

Benjamin tried to stop Daniella, but the words already spewed out of the young girl's mouth.

"Because she said my daddy loves you more."