DWP - the jester's journey: prompt

“Where have you been, Fool?” the Queen asks, visibly pissed that it has taken Fool the whole day to come back from running an errand. “You had better have a good reason for taking this long, or I’ll have your head cut off this very minute.” She wags an index finger in front of Fool’s face.

“Your Majesty, I am terribly sorry.” Fool’s tears roll down his cheeks, smudging the heavy makeup and runny snot makes his red foam nose to sag. “But, I got lost in the maze downstairs trying to find the Royal Burger Vendor."

"Get hold of yourself! For heaven's sakes, you're supposed to make me laugh, not make me pissed!" Queenie rolls her eyes and blows an errant wisp of hair, slumps on her golden throne and motions for her maid to massage her temple.

"Got lost in the maze, holy God! How did you get lost, tell me!" she demands, impatiently tapping her fingers on the arm of the throne.

"Well, Your Majesty, first, I saw Cook and he sent me to the market to get onions for your salad. Then I saw the Prince and he asked me to take his horse to the horsesmith. Then I saw the Bishop and he reminded me that I missed Church last Sunday and I explained to him that I was sick last Sunday so he made me attend a Special Service. Then I saw the Princess and she asked me to go and tell her lover who lives in next village to meet her at the stable." Fool stops to blow his nose and the red foam nose fell on the marbled steps of the platform going up to the Queen's throne. He was about to continue his story but Queen stops him.

"You obeyed those people of no importance and yet you made me wait for the one thing I asked you to do?" She snaps her fingers and two guards appear before her.

"Get this Fool out of my sight, and have him beheaded right away," she commands.

"Waaaaah!" Fool wails like a child whose ice cream has fallen off his cone. The guards carry him away.

"Can't I get a better performing jester than that one? All he does is wail all the time. He depresses me!"

"Them jesters are hard to come by these days, aren't they, m'lady?" the maid says. "Why, that's the third one this week you've had beheaded!"

"I would really have to resort to drastic measures to amuse meself!" Queenie lets herself slide off the throne onto the floor.

"And what is that, m'lady?"

"Get a television and watch soaps, I suppose!"

"Oh," maid gets excited. "You mean we're finally getting cable!"